New Way To Bleed
by Harley Serenity Black
Summary: Kira (OC) is a teenager in a abusive household in Asgard. Her older sister Sif was favored for her talent and was treated well while Kira worked like a servant to her own father. When Sif gives her a diary, Kira writes down all she can about her life and about the world changing around her...
1. Entry 1

**My first story that has chapters so don't eat me alive on this **

My name is Kira, this is my diary. My father doesn't know about this small journal that my sister, Sif, gave me for my forgotten Birthday. If he did, than I would no longer have this, he would burn it and hit me for having something of my own. He has always hated me, his youngest daughter, who killed his wife. When I was born, my mother died soon after with a horrible fever. As soon as I learnt to walk, my father made me do every house chore, repair my brother's clothes, make dinner, clean the house. If I do something wrong, he hits me. My brothers are workers and Sif is a warrior. Today she said to me that I can come live with her if I wanted but father overheard and shouted

"No! She is a wicked child and has to work Sif. She won't ever leave this house, ever!"

Sif bit her lip and was about to argue but I squeezed her elbow in warning. Father glared at me before turning around to go. Sif whirled to me and whisper shouted

"Why do you let him treat you like that?"

"He's my father, he is in charge of me"

"You can't let him treat you like that though, even if he is our father"

I smiled in reassurance and began cooking

"Let me help" Sif sighed grabbing a pan

"Sif, we both know your terrible at cooking" I laughed

"Yes, but it's your Birthday, so let me help"

"Fine, grab the pot and start cutting the vegetables in the bowl"

Sif nodded and did as instructed.

When it began to grow dark outside, I told Sif

"You will have to go back to the palace now, I'll see you tomorrow at the market"

Sif came over and gave me a hug "Happy Birthday Kira, here"

And she handed me this very journal, black leather with a gold clasp. I hugged her back, ignoring the pain of bruises from father,

"Thank you" I whispered, quickly hiding the journal in my skirt.

Sif smiled and left. As soon as I finished my chores, I went to my room, removed the floor board and took out my small box. Everything I own is in that box, a quill and well, a small sewing kit, a jade necklace that belonged to my mother and a pair of black silk gloves and now this journal. A knock at the door made me quickly wrap up the box and slip it back into it's alcove. It was one of my brothers, with a big smile on his face

"Come see what I have outside for you"

I frowned and came out, and there before me was a long thin box on the grass. I bent down and opened it up, there was a long thin sword with a black leather hilt

"Is it mine?"

"Nope, I'm just showing it to you for no reason"

I ran up and hugged him "Thank you, thank you, thank you"

He laughed "If it weren't for you, I would have a burlap sack to wear and nothing to eat, so this is my payment to you"

I grinned but than it dawned on me "Where will I hide it?"

"There's a compartment in the shed under the old trough" he whispered in my ear.

I smiled my thanks and quickly placed the sword in there. Through the trough, I saw my reflection; tangled black curls, big brown eyes and pale skin. My sister looks a lot prettier than me but I think that if I tried, I could be pretty too. I closed the compartment and went back inside the house where father stood looking angry

"Why were you outside?" he growled

"The horse knocked something over so I went to clear it up" I lied

If father knew that I was talking to one of my brothers as an equal, he would beat me for not knowing my place

Father strode over to me and slapped me, my cheek stung and began to feel hot.

"Don't lie to me, why were you outside?" he asked again in a deathly quiet voice

"I went to pick something up, it fell by my window and-"

He hit me across the face, almost instantly I felt a bruise begin to form

"Go to your room and come out when you're going to tell me the truth"

I bobbed my head and ran into my room with tears running down my face. My cheek felt swollen and hot, I pressed a wet cloth against it in vain to supress the swelling.

I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up, father was asleep and the first light of dawn was beginning to rise. Knowing I had little time, I got my journal and began to write. Some say that talking about your own troubles help but I have no one to talk to most of the time. I will use this diary instead, it will be my friend when I have none, a shoulder to cry on, someone who will listen. A new way to bleed...


	2. Entry 2

**The second chapter, hope you guys enjoy**

I haven't written in a while as I have been very busy nursing father through his sickness. He came down with it very suddenly and I have no clue what to do, constantly I have been putting damp cloths on his forehead and have never left his side. When Sif came she shooed me away

"Go, rest, I'll take him to the healers"

I left and fell on to my makeshift bed and fell asleep immediately. When I woke up, I was alone. Sleepily I got up and began writing but now I hear someone at the door...

** A While Later**

My father is better already and was mad when he heard I was at home instead of with him. I fear what will happen when he comes back. Sif delivered the news and also looked anxious

"I will try to persuade him to let you live with me. I have more than enough room"

I bit my lip and nodded, I know I should have hope but my father plans to confine me in this tiny house till the end of days. He'll probably think of something for me to do when he dies. I think Sif knows that he'll say no but she is more hopeful than me. That is something in my family that we share; we have too much hope. My brother told me

"Before Mother died, she said to us when we promised that we would look after you "Don't worry, I will make it through because I have and hope"

Thinking about Mother makes me want to cry, I never knew her, I don't know what she looked like. Brother says I look like her but I doubt it, mother was beautiful, Sif is beautiful and father says that no man in their right mind will like me. I wish I could leave him, I want to travel, live happily, live normally. I wan tot have friends and a more normal family

"Friends are family we find along the way"

I like that saying, it fills me with hope to know that I when I eventually leave this house I will find more family. Part of me, a dark side, kept whispering in the back of my mind while I was nursing him

"If father dies you'll be free, all you have to do is slay him in his sleep, you can have friends and a happy life"

I am scared of this voice. My father is horrible and he cares not for me but I couldn't kill him, I am too soft.

Sif just came in with a smile on her face

"You are allowed to stay at my place for a few days while father recovers, so put the journal away and start packing"

I smiled back and put my two dresses, my box and my sword in my bag. You, my journal, will join them in after I finish writing this strange daydream. When I went to get the sword, a bird landed on my shoulder and I fell instantly into a daydream where there was a tall boy, with raven hair and sparkling green eyes. He grinned and then we were waltzing. I jolted out of the daydream when the raven flew away. I feeling of deja vu came over me, I am nervous. Every time I daydream something, it happens. When I was twelve I daydreamed my brother falling off our horse and breaking his arm, two weeks later he did. When I was fifteen, I saw Sif fighting a war, three months later she was. Maybe it's a positive future for me, but futures always change don't they?

**Later at Sif's house**

Sif's house is beautiful. Full of tapestries and long windows letting in fresh air. I wish I could stay here forever but father will be well in a few days. When I came in, Sif showed me into my very own bedroom with an actual bed! I have always slept on an old blanket by the embers of the fire. We are near the palace which sparkles in the sunlight.

"You should see it in winter" Sif whispered when she saw me admiring it

I love the actual city of Asgard, father lives on the very outskirts of the city so I never saw the palace or the rainbow bridge. The rainbow bridge is beautiful as well, one day I wish to walk along it. Sif has gone to the palace as she has been called so I am here alone. I have looked in every room and have even talked to the servants. They also like it here as all their masters are kind and not horrid. They say that I look like my mother, I blushed and ran to a mirror. For the first time, I saw a clear reflection of myself; long black curls reaching to the small of my back, big, brown eyes and pale skin. If I look like my mother, is that why father hates me? Do I remind him of what he has lost? One of the servants came in and caught me looking in the mirror, she smiled

"You are very pretty, mistress"

"Thank you" I replied

She was also pretty with pale brown curls and blue eyes. I think she is around my own age

"What is your name?" I asked

"Cecilia" she said shyly

"Well, Cecilia, you are also very pretty" I smiled

"Thank you, mistress"

"I'm Kira, not mistress"

She nodded and ran to the door when she heard it open. Sif came in with a twinkle in her eye

"What is it?" I asked

"It's about you" she said "You are invited to the palace in two days"

I stared at her "Are you serious?"

She nodded and gave me a hug "Your first impression on court life, they might ask you to stay and father cannot deny the King or the Queen"

That sent everyone in a flurry, washing and combing my hair, making me look pretty. I simply cannot wait...

**Thank you for reading and thank you for the comments, I will write the next chapter as soon as I can**


	3. Entry 3

My dearest diary, last night was wonderful at first but it became terrible. The outside of the palace beauty is nothing compared to the inside. Sif gave me a black silk dress to wear which I think looked nice on me, my hair was than braided and twisted into a bun. I also wore mother's jade necklace. Sif and Cecilia claimed that I looked beautiful. Sif and I than walked the short distance to the palace. The guards let us in and Sif led me through a series of hallways until we reached a long, rectangular room that had a long wooden table. Sif and I sat next to each other and three men came

"Who's this?" the tallest one with a long red beard said indicating to me

"She is Kira, my younger sister, Volstagg"

"Ow" he said raising an eyebrow "It is an honor" he continued as he bowed

I looked at Sif for help "Thank you" she mouthed

I cleared my throat "Thank you"

He smiled and the other two bowed as well "We are Fandral and Hogun"

I smiled "Kira"

Then came yet another person, he was tall with blond hair and blue eyes "Who is this Sif?" he asked indicating to me

"She is Kira, my younger sister, my Prince" Sif said

He rose an eyebrow "I didn't know you had any siblings Sif"

"Well, it seems that our possible future King doesn't listen much"

"He never did" another man said from behind me

I turned and my heart stopped; he was tall with raven hair and sparkling green eyes

He smiled "I am Loki, prince of Asgard and this" he indicated to the tall man with blond hair "Is my brother Thor"

"I am Kira, Sif's sister" I smiled

Before he could reply someone at the head of the table stood up, everyone else followed. He was old with an eyepatch over one eye and a long staff by his side,

"We are celebrating, the peace of the nine realms, the peace between our people and the peace that will hopefully last"

I looked at Sif and mouthed "Who is he?"

"The King" she mouthed back

I nodded my thanks and tried to listen to the speech but my mind wandered off; into another daydream

I was standing in the room alone, there was no longer a table and all the lights were out. Than someone was coming towards me, I could only see their outline but than a light came on and I saw the ghostly white skin and the pitch black eyes. Fear ran through my body and it came close to me, it held up something that was glowing red and they hit me hard with it. Pain greater than no other exploded inside me making me scream

I woke up on the ground with Sif and a few others over me. They were saying something but I couldn't hear anything, all I could feel was my head burning. Than the King was there looking deep into my eyes, I felt my mouth forming words I didn't understand. My head was spinning and my mouth was dry. Than everything cleared up

"Kira? Kira? What is it?" Sif asked with a look of concern

"I...I...I..." I gasped

"It was a Sight" a woman said, she was beautifully dresses and looked of high status

"What's a Sight?" Loki asked

"Seeing futures mainly deaths or horrific events" she replied "They can be a burden to all"

Sif looked at her "My queen, magic doesn't run in our family so why would my sister have it?"

She raised her eyebrows "Magic runs in every family, but only few unlock it"

"What will happen to her?" Sif asked

"If she has had them before, then she might be able to control it" The queen stated

I knew they were all looking at me in a new light

Volstagg cleared his throat "What was it about?"

Before I could answer the queen shouted "NO! She can never reveal what she sees, nothing"

I nodded and tried to get up and was aided by a few others. Vertigo washed over me and struggled to stay up.

_Are you Ok?_

It was Loki's voice in my head, I nodded which earned a few confused looks

_Just picture the words in your head_

I imagined

_Thank you_

I heard Loki say

_You are welcome_

Sif took my arm and led me outside onto a balcony, I gulped in the fresh air thankfully

"Has that happened before?" Sif asked

"Yes, I saw you fighting a battle, I saw brother breaking his arm but nothing like this, I actually felt everything thats why I screamed it hurt.." I broke down into tears

I hated crying in front of people but I couldn't contain it. Sif came over and hugged me

"Its Ok, shhh, its Ok" she whispered

Someone cleared their throat behind us,

I turned and saw Loki "I am just here to see if you are alright"

"I am fine, thank you" I said but it came out in a whisper

"Good" he nodded

"I'll take her back to my house, she'll rest until the morning" Sif said as she began to lead me out "Please excuse us for the King and Queen"

"Of course" he nodded

_Kira, you shouldn't let your father beat you like he does_

I stared at him and he winked

_I am the God of lies and trickery_

Sif and I left the palace and returned to her home. Cecilia helped me out of my dress and into a loose nightgown before brushing my hair. She didn't ask any questions for which I was thankful. I fell onto the bed and fell asleep almost immediately. When I woke up Sif was gone and I stole this chance to write, if I do have this Sight, than what will become of me?


	4. Entry 4

**The fourth chapter, hope you guys enjoy**

Father is almost better and will be returning home tomorrow. My time here is drawing to an end. Sif is gone, yet again at the palace, she did not tell me why but she looked worried. Maybe its about my Sight, she asked me when do I get them and I simply said

"I do not know what causes them Sister"

She nodded and left. All the other maids and servants stay away from me except Cecilia,

"Nothing has changed about you miss Kira, except you look a lot healthier"

I smiled when she said that, Cecilia and I have grown close during my visit. She is one of my only friends. I will be sad to leave this place but I have to return home to father...

**Later**

Oh god I'm in deep trouble. Loki visited me to everyone's surprise. He bowed and requested a private conversation with me. Warily Sif agreed and we went to the balcony. I sat down and stared at him

"You're like a frightened rabbit" he muttered

"What do you mean?"

He sniggered and took a sip of tea. I delicately took a sip of tea myself, and listened to his aim of conversation

"My mother wishes to teach you how to control your...gift-"

"More like a curse" I muttered

He continued "You are invited to stay at the palace until your power is under your own control. It would be of great benefit to you, wouldn't it?"

_Or would you rather have that spirit control it?_

I frowned "What spirit?"

_The spirit that has made itself at home at the back of your mind, filthy things_

I stood up, ignoring the tea spilling all over my dress "What do you mean? I think I would know if something was in my head"

He raised an eyebrow

_What exactly is it hiding from you? It's blood soaked past, it's crimes, it's goals, it's nature? Or maybe even it's stupid, petty fears..._

"Get out" I hissed but my voice came out different as it belonged to someone else

_Why is it such a coward to hide in a girl's mind, what sick, petty, desperate being would do that_

I leapt at him without remembering to decide that, I didn't decide that. Something, someone, was controlling me. I made myself turn so I could dodge bashing into him. Loki came over and put his hand on my forehead

_Kira? Are you still there?_

I closed my eyes and felt the spirit coming froward, like someone coming out of a shadow; it was a he, dressed completely in black with eyes that had no white or iris. He smiled widely revealing sharp fang like teeth and than he disappeared completely. I flung my eyes open to see Loki over me putting back on his glove before turning around. I caught sight of the man dressed completely in black, in his hand was a sword. I struggled to my feet and watched Loki's calm expression as he took out a handful of throwing knives

"It would be nice if you had cooperated but also no fun" Loki sighed

"Stupid little prince, pretending to be a grown man" the spirit laughed

Loki disappeared in a blink of an eye and appeared behind the spirit before it could even react. The spirit spun around and tried to stab him but Loki melted and appeared behind him again. Before the spirit could defend itself, Loki stabbed it in its lower spine. Loki quickly handcuffed it and began to lead it out before stopping

"Kira, the queen is expecting you, I was only sent here to take the spirit. Unless you are seriously injured in which case the queen will make an exception"

I shook my head "I'm fine"

My voice was a little hoarse but apart from a splitting headache, I was otherwise unharmed

"Good, it would reflect badly on me if you were injured or killed"

I nodded absent-mindedly and began to go to the palace but Loki stopped me

"She would wish for you to appear at your best" he commented

I scowled before stomping to my room where I quickly slipped on my other dress and one of my brothers pants. I quickly walked to catch up with him, he barely acknowledged my presence as we made our way to the palace. A few guards gave me almost scared glances as Loki led me to the long hall. The king wasn't there, instead the queen was. She was talking to Thor in a patient manner

"You cannot do anything, your brother has already got the spirit and she is right behind you"

Thor turned and gave me a dark look before leaving

"I am sorry Kira, the palace has been a bit shaken up at the thought of someone who could look into the future or the past by just coming into contact with them" she sighed

"Is that's what causing it? Me coming into contact with people?" I asked

"Most likely" she said "But you might be able to control it, if I can just peak into your memories?"

I nodded "Of course"

She smiled a beautiful smile and placed her hands on either side of my head, a unfocused series of pictures appeared into my head but I couldn't focus on them. Then my head started to burn with pain, I cried out and the queen quickly let go. I fell to my knees and held my head which felt like I had split it in half, the queen knelt down

"There's a block in there, I couldn't access anything. Are you all right?"

I nodded but that made it worse. The queen looked worried and helped me up

"If you could stay a few days then I might be able to bring down the block but it could have a few side affects"

I frowned "What would the side affects be?" My voice sounded pained

"Well, we'll just have to find out won't we?"

Despite the pain I nodded


	5. Entry 5

**Thank you, everyone for the comments and so on, much apprieciated**

My father is better and has demand that I come home. Sif gave him a message from the queen that she wanted me to stay for a bit. I am elated. Everyday, the queen tries different methods to break down the block, it still hurts but we still try. Today when she saw the impatient look on my face she said with a slight smile

"Patience, my dear, patience"

I was taken back slightly, no one ever called me dear. I nodded and let her back into my head. I don't see a flicker of images anymore which is nice as thankfully I was given a pair of gloves from Sif which is meant to help to stop the Sight. They're black with a black ribbon tie and act like a second skin. At first I didn't know why I needed gloves but the queen explained to me

"When you come into contact with people, you could see their past, their present or their future. The past would most likely be a joyous memory but some could be a scarring one. Their present would be like reading their mind. Their future will most likely be their death but you could see a terrible injury, a battle or even a joyous celebration. It's different for each person, no one has seen everything that I have just listed"

I took note of this for future reference, I think it might come in handy. I think I only see the future but I cannot be sure. After many hours she led me to the dining hall which was very empty. Their was only the king, the queen, Thor, Loki and myself. I picked away at my dinner as I was not very hungry.

We sat at the table in a heavy silence. Thor kept on glancing up at me and I kept my head down. Odin cleared his throat

"How is the mind block in her head?"

"It is a very strong one, the last time I saw this kind of mind block was-" Frigga faltered

"Was?" Odin pursued

"A long time ago" she continued with her eyes down

_Your Mother, Kira_

I looked up at Loki, he leaned back in his chair before continuing

_Your mother had a block like that in her head, I remember overhearing my mother talk about it. Turns out she did it to herself to forget a terrible memory, she might have done it to you_

I stared at him and he smiled like a satisfied cat.

_If they ask me to try and take the block down, I'll tell you more_

"Would Loki be able to break down the block?" Odin continued

"Maybe" Loki smiled which earned a frown from Frigga

"Such a shame we don't trust you Loki" Thor said stiffly

Loki looked like he might argue but stood up abruptly and left the room. Frigga sighed and also got up

"Maybe it is time for us all to retire"

I stood up, bowed and went through the winding palace corridors until I came to my room. Before I went in Thor grabbed my arm

"What are you playing at?" he growled

I stared at him and he shook my arm roughly

"Well? Aren't you going to say something?"

"I am not playing at anything, now will you excuse me"

I said and pulled my arm from his grasp. Quickly I shut the door and fell onto the bed and sighed, I was tired and annoyed. I don't want this Sight, I wish I was normal. All the windows were open letting in the cool night breeze and making the curtains swish and whirl.I quickly changed into my nightgown and wrapped up in a black shawl. Untying my hair, it fell down my back. I stepped out onto the balcony and looked over the city, lights dotted all over the buildings sending warm yellow glows over areas. Over the rainbow bridge and the body of water, I could see a tiny light coming my cottage. I sighed, as soon as I learned to control the Sight, I'll be going back to the small cottage full of anger and pain. Sighing I looked up at the sky, a beautiful spread of colours hung over me and so many stars twinkled and winked high up in the sky. I heard that when you die your soul goes and joins the stars, maybe Mother is up there, looking down on me. What would she think of me if she ever saw me? I wished I could stay there forever, looking up trying to find my Mother instead of the real world which was a nightmare compared to that. I don't know how long I stood there for, just looking up at the stars. Someone cleared their throat behind me making me jump. Loki laughed his usual laugh

"Well, little rabbit, what do you think?"

"Think of what?"

"Everything"

"Well" I faltered "I am not sure, isn't there a certain opinion for each thing?"

"No, little rabbit, there isn't"

"Little rabbit?"

"It's my nickname for you as you get frightened as easily as one"

"Why?"

He shrugged "Trying to be normal. Why? Do you not trust me?"

"Not really, no"

He frowned and turned to leave "The queen has fallen low enough to ask me to try and break the block in your mind, we start tomorrow"

I stared at him and he continued "If you don't trust me, it'll make it a lot harder for both of us and a lot more painful for you"

And he disappeared leaving me alone. Sighing, I closed all of the windows and lit a few candles, which are now a few wax stubs with a small flickering flame. I lay on my stomach and started writing in you, my journal. Maybe I don't trust Loki at all. But who would trust the God of Lies and Trickery?...


	6. Entry 6

**I am very sorry for the wait but I have had some recent events...School, homework, annoying siblings and computer restrictions...So sorry**

The block is broken and I can control the Sight...almost. This morning Sif came in with a frustrated look on her face

"Father demands that you come home tomorrow"

My stomach felt as though I had a whole family of birds beating their wings against it, trying to break free. I swallowed hard and nodded

"I guess he's been missing me" I said, trying to make it as though I didn't care

Sif glared making me feel nervous. Her glare has always been the scariest thing you would ever see, my brothers always shut up when she glared at them

"The queen wishes to see you" she said finally

I nodded and left the room. I have grown used to the palace and its many winding hallways. I came into the throne room and walked up to the throne. I kneeled and waited to be beckoned to stand.

"Rise" the queen smiled warmly

I stood up and waited for the queen to speak

"Again, very like a frightened rabbit" Loki called out

"Loki" the queen sighed, exasperated

He stepped out of the shadows and raised an eyebrow

"I am sorry, mother, for pointing out something that's true"

The queen muttered something about being pointless before continuing

"I am afraid that I cannot undo the block so I have asked Loki to give it a try. If he cannot then this is a lost cause"

I nodded and sneaked a glance at Loki who looked like he was bored out of his mind. I sighed inwardly 'I'm expected to trust someone who is known for jokes, pranks and everything that is mischievous'

I curtsied to the queen and Loki smirked

"Come on little rabbit, let us try and break the block in your head"

I bit my lip and followed him through the hallways, outside and into a pretty garden. A feeling of déjà vu came over me; I knew this place, somehow. Loki turned and put one of his hands over my forehead, instant pain flooded through me and I bit my lip again hard enough to draw blood. Then, it felt like something in my head shattered. Loki took his hand away from my forehead and frowned

"Are you okay?"

I nodded, completely ignoring the pain exploding in my head. He gave me a swift nod before leaving me alone in the garden. I sat down on the ground and waited for the pain to go away, I don't know how long I waited but Sif came and bent down next to me

"Are you alright?" she asked looking worried

I nodded again and struggled to my feet. Sif helped me up and took me back to my room, she made me sit on the bed and went to the healers. They came and checked my pulses and felt my forehead, I was completely numb from all of the pain, I was numb to everything. Everything passed by in a blur and I couldn't get the nauseas feeling to go away. I felt like I was dying. Shouts erupted and I felt someone grip my wrist tightly, Sif maybe? But I couldn't see anything. I couldn't concentrate on anything, sight, sound, touch they all went through my head. And I fell into a deep sleep which felt like there was no waking from.

I woke up, I actually woke up. My head felt heavy with sleep still as I sat up, Sif was asleep in a chair next to me. I smiled weakly to myself and looked around. I was in a small chamber, maybe in the medical ward. I had several blankets on me and a roaring fire was also in the room, despite all of this I was still freezing. One of the healers came in and smiled warmly when she saw I was up

"Good evening, how are you?"

"Cold" I smiled back weakly

She chuckled "Perfectly natural for after what you have experienced"

"What was wrong with me?" I asked as I tilted my head to the side

"You died temporarily but we brought you back to the living" she explained with a serious look on her face

I felt my heart stop, I died and came back to life? I was the living dead?

"You are in perfect health though who might get cold very easily" she added when she saw the look on my face

I nodded and pulled the blankets closer around me as though they could protect me from every harm. The healer checked my temperature and left without another word. I sat there feeling...feeling...Strange. What if I really died and I was in hell. I wouldn't have gone to heaven because I didn't die in battle. So I had two possibilities I was dead and in hell or I was alive and the living dead. Both didn't sound too fun. Sif's eyelids flickered and opened. She grinned when she saw me awake

"Welcome back from the dead"

I chuckled but it turned into a fit of coughing. Sif gave me a glass of water which I drank gratefully

"Your skin is like ice" she exclaimed when she came in contact with my hand

"Yeah, side effect of being brought back from the dead" I sighed

"You're lucky, not many people get a second chance in life. Make the most of it" she whispered

I nodded and asked "How long have I been asleep?"

"Seven weeks" she said calmly

"Seven weeks!" I shouted

She nodded "Most people thought we should just kill you but the king, queen and I put a stop to that as you were still breathing"

I gaped at her "Seven weeks" my voice turned into a whisper

She chuckled a little "You were just looking for an excuse to sleep, weren't you?"

I scowled and Sif got up "Do you need anything?"

"May I have my journal to write in, it's in the small wooden box" I asked

She smiled and left me to myself. I stared at the fire and watched the flames flicker. Sif came in some time later and is still watching me write in the journal. She has left again but now is back with a small plate of food

"Put the journal away" she said with a raised eyebrow

I will have to write another time.

**Thank you for reading expect more chapters on Saturdays and Sundays **


	7. Entry 7

**The seventh chapter, hope you guys enjoy**

I am still bed ridden and cold. Sif is adamant that I don't leave until I am completely better, but how can you get better after being dead? My journal is now a little worn but I still have plenty of pages to write in. Very few people who come in actually look me in the eyes. Is there something different about me or is superstition taking over. Whenever Sif comes, she looks stressed and as though she's trying to be happy. This morning I confronted her about it

"Sif, what's wrong?"

"What do you mean?" she stammered, turning crimson

"You are acting overly happy" I sighed with a ghost of a smile

She sighed and sank down defeated "Father is dead"

My heart stopped, he was dead? How should I feel? Happy? Sad? Broken?

"Dead?" I whispered

"He died after he thought you were dead. We don't know the cause of death" She sighed, suddenly she looked older and vulnerable, that scared me.

I opened my mouth to say something but nothing would come out. I felt like the world had stopped and I was stuck in a frozen place. Should I start crying or should I celebrate? I shook my head and Sif was back to normal

"Today is quiet, isn't it?"

I nodded absent-mindedly. The word 'Dead' swam around in my head and I had to keep my mouth shut to stop from saying it out loud. Sif talked about what had been happening for the past seven weeks. I pretended that I was listening but questions went around in my head. What was death? What was I to my father? A maid? A nuisance? Did I even exist to him or was I dead like mother? Sif was looking at me with pity in her eyes. I realised that we had been in silence for a while. Sif got up and hugged me

"You don't need to feel sad for that sack of filth, Kira, you deserve more"

And she left me wondering what she had meant. What did I deserve? What did I need? What am I?

"You are a prophesier" The Queen answered

I was so deep in thought, I hadn't seen her come in. I felt every muscle in my body freeze

"M-m-my Queen" I stammered as I tried to get up and curtsy

"Don't" she instructed "You are very ill still"

I stopped and pulled a blanket over my shoulders. Loki was right about me being a frightened rabbit. The Queen smiled warmly

"How are you feeling?"

"Weak and cold, my Queen" I answered

"You'll be like that for a while, though you look a lot healthier than when I first saw you. You're not as sickly as you were then"

I was unsure if this was a complement or an insult but I stammered a "Thank you"

She smiled and watched the flames flicker in the fireplace. We remained in a silence that hung uncomfortably between us. I looked at her expectantly, hoping she would break this silence.

"A great burden has been placed upon your shoulders dear. A burden to which has no escape for you" she finally said

I tilted my head to the side and frowned "I have no escape from this?"

She shook her head sadly "No, no you don't" she whispered

Tears brewed from behind my eyes. My breathing became difficult. I quickly scolded myself

'Don't you dare cry, Kira. Don't you even dare'

I sat up straighter and swallowed my tears. I declared in a voice that I hoped didn't sound strained

"If that is the case, then so be"

The Queen smiled again and gave me a hug

"You are brave, in your own way, like your mother"

Another lump in my throat rose up

"What was she like?" I whispered

"Very like you. She even had the Sight like you but she didn't know how to use it. Since she was my best friend, I put a block in her head to stop the Sight coming through. We didn't know the consequences and I guess that's what killed her. It built up over the years and soon it came out like a flood, drowning her in madness. Thankfully, she had lived a normal life before this and was able to have you and your siblings. She was happy and she always will be"

I let the tears spill over my face and onto the blankets. The Queen got up and brushed herself off, I sat up and wiped away my tears

The Queen opened the door to leave but before leaving she said

"Think about who you are"

And she left me. I stared at the door like I was expecting something, someone. I got up, my legs felt weak, I felt like a foal that was learning to walk. I sat by the fire and put my hand over the dying embers. Warmth flooded my hand, up my arm and through my body. I felt energised and warm, like I was normal. Though I knew that from this point on, nothing for me or anybody around me would be normal. Even in a world of ancient Gods, I would never be normal. These are my vows I've put in paper

I will be stronger, independent, I will do what is right and I will accept the Sight. I will be cold and I will do what has to be done. I will look into the past, present and future as a new person.

"Who am I?"

I am Kira, Asgard's p prophesier.


	8. Entry 8

**Thanks to an awesome friend and writer, Snoweylily, I can continue to write this. So this is Entry eight**

I have been slightly lazy and haven't written in two whole months. But I have been...been...depressed. Nobody really comes near me anymore because I'm too cold to touch and even to be near. Sif even shivers whenever she visits me. They try to be nice but I know that through their smiling masks, they're grimacing and wishing to be somewhere else. My Sight is slightly more controlled now but it can still completely take over sometimes. I can sometimes see into their present without even coming into contact with them. It can be horrible sometimes knowing what they are thinking, the whispers in the back of my head. The death wishes, the secret hatreds and the confessions. I feel like I was a ghost, like I wasn't really there, like they could see through me. My life felt like it was stuck on repeat, everyday was the same. I woke up, I got dressed, I joined my sister for breakfast and I go to the balcony to practising on my Sight. Today my sister suggested

"Why don't you do something different today? How about we go to the palace?"

I shook my head "No, I would rather stay home"

Sif bit her lip, I smiled to reassure her, she looked worried but soon left for the palace. Cecelia came over and place her hands on her hips as she instructed sternly

"Miss Kira, I advise that you go anywhere that isn't the balcony...Immediately"

I was too tired to argue so I grabbed my warmest coat and left my sister's house. The sun was shining high and proud but provided no heat to me. I didn't know where I was going but I stopped when I felt a hand on my shoulder. A familiar voice whispered in my ear

"Where are you going, little rabbit?"

I turned and saw the sparkling green eyes and the raven black hair. Loki smiled at me and I still felt something inside of me spark. But I soon tore my eyes away and looked where I was, the garden full of flowers. I laughed dryly

"God, I haven't been here in ages"

He laughed but then became silent. When I turned to him, he was in an elaborate bow

"Can I have the honour of a waltz?"

I smiled sadly "But I'm too cold for people"

He smiled back and set us up in a waltz position, I was thankful I was wearing gloves "I'm not affected by the cold"

When I looked he had blue skin and red eyes. He looked like a frost giant, I felt myself stare but I frowned

"Why do you hide stuff from people?"

He averted his gaze from me, I smiled and whispered to him

"I'll forgive you, not now but someday"

He returned to his normal self and we waltzed around the garden. I became slightly oblivious to the pain inside of me and even the cold. I was...was...was...happy. Yes I was happy. I am happy. I laughed and smiled with all my heart. He smiled and laughed too. I could tell that he was happy too. We were both happy. But then of course it started raining, I looked up at the sky and Loki laughed

"How long has it been since you've been out in the rain?"

"I hate the rain" I said as I pulled up my hood

Loki frowned "Why?"

"Because it reminds me of...of...of" I felt my voice rise "Of him...My father"

His face became slightly more serious "Oh"

I bit my lip and walked away from the garden, my pace was gaining speed until I was sprinting hard and fast. Loki came after me and easily caught up. I raised my hand to push him away but he pulled me in for a hug. I remained frozen and stiff, but soon felt the tears spill over. He laughed and I looked up

"You shouldn't cry little rabbit about things that have happened in the past" he patted my head and turned on his heel to go "Think about it"

I watched him go, the rain ceased and I walked home. When I got there Sif was waiting

"Where the hell were you? I have been worried sick about you"

"I went for a long walk outside the house, I thought you wanted me to leave the house so I did. Sorry didn't think I was gone that long. Sorry"

Sif bit her lip and crossed her arms over her chest "Don't go for the whole freaking day again and come back looking like you fell into a river"

I nodded and went into my room to dry myself off and change into my nightgown. I combed my hair and began to write in you, diary. I can't suppress the same happiness that I felt while Loki and I waltzed in the garden. Maybe I never will be able to. I don't care if he is a frost giant, he is one of the very, very few I can confide in. I...I like him. Yes I like him. And I think he likes me too...And now the moon is high in the sky and I must go to sleep as I am very, very, very cold.

**Well not that long but I no longer have writer's block**


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